He's Still White

Everyone is on about how there is this new pope. The ABC World News show featured the single sentance news for over 15 minutes on their half-hour show when it happened. I was at the gym, and left at the 15 minute mark, but they probably filled that whole half hour with dribble about the new pope. Here is all you need to know.

Despite being born in Argentina, the new pope is of Italian ancestry and is old. He's a Whitey McWhiterson. In terms of adding more diversity to the Vatican leadership, this was less than the least they could do. He represents Europeans who left Europe and took ownership of land, probably, fraudulently, and set up life there - a colonist. In my eyes, that makes him MORE white than if his family had stayed in Europe. It means all white Americans are whiter than Europeans, including myself.

The new pope isn't a change, it is barely a bump. He's a whitey white whiterson who doesn't like homosexuality and will be replaced in another decade.