Socialism, Society, and America

I'm angry, I'm always angry unless there is something distracting happening to mask the anger. Today, the anger is about everyone's apparent glee about a Florida millionaire adopting a neighborhood with his riches and helping it out. I don't want to rain on the parade, but more than that, I've learned that raining on the parade subjects me to all kinds of anger from those who have yet to grasp the things I find to be self evident.

1. We are social beings and the only solution to our problems will be to work together.
2. America has been poisoned by decades of anti-Communist propaganda into thinking that any collective effort will lead to totalitarianism.
3. Individual efforts, while excellent for making dents in large problems, only go so far, and certainly not far enough.
4. Monied interests will always want to keep their money.

Ugh, I'm sure the list could go on longer and longer. I could get into how tribalism and racism are at the root of many of our struggles - sexism is there too, but it manifests slightly differently. People think Obama is getting crap because he's black, and yeah, that's happening, but he wouldn't have an easier time if he was white, because he's a Democrat. Anyone who thinks he would be riding high if he was white have forgotten the Clinton administration. And don't even talk to me about how the media would be treating him. Back in the 1990's, we were just starting the "both sides" rhetoric, and now it's so culturally ingrained that no one can even mention that one side might be wrong without adding useless equivocation. The nation has been gaslighted by reactionary monied interests for so long now that we no longer know right from wrong. Well, some of us anyway.

Sigh.

I know there are people out there who get it, and I'm actually somewhat hopeful, but damned if I'm not angry. Because these people who now get it were staying home in November 2010 when they could have prevented all this shit from happening in the first place. It was spring 2011 when people finally woke up, and by then it was too late. TOO LATE.

We got screwed with gerrymandered districts in 2012 because too many people didn't get it, too many people were convinced that their vote didn't matter, that nothing mattered, that because Obama couldn't make manna come down from heaven that it was "time to give the Republicans a chance". FUCK THAT! Republicans HAD their chance, they've had too many chances, and each one sucked, but you wouldn't know, because the people who should be telling you are living in the both-sides fallacy.

Then there are the people who were barely paying attention who all wonder "where it went wrong". They think that there was a time in America's past where we had it right, a time when we all cared about each other and things were great. Even intelligent, savvy people who have paid attention fall into this trap, but the truth is, the individualistic, screw everyone mentality is a CORE AMERICAN VALUE. Every single non-Native, not-descended-from-slaves person in this country came here to make it on their own. They left families, left towns, or left countries to "be free" from their old society. Then when they set up society on the east coast, some of them left to be even more "free" to go west and really live on their own. No, our past was not a socialist paradise, our past was a ruthless, cutthroat, dirty, dangerous, horrible hellhole that people somehow managed to survive long enough to have children in.

Even the period of time after WWII wasn't great if you weren't white or male, and even then, it still wasn't that great. It was a blip on the horrible history of our country, a random, uneven blip of sort-of okayness for some people that's gone now. We remember it as so great because the popular narrative of the time paints it that way, but millions of white men lived with untreated PTSD, raising kids with an iron fist, like their father did. Millions of women were frustrated and bored, full of resentment that they couldn't place. Millions of black people weren't much better off than they had ever been in this nation. Shit was bad, shits always been bad, and if we want to improve this shit, we have to get over the paranoia about working together. We have to literally go against every fucking thing that brought our ancestors, or ourselves, to this rock, and get over it. So I'm angry, angry about the bad rep socialism gets, angry about the failure of society, and angry about the reality of America.

Intersectionality vs. Being Human

I read yet another screed on intersectionality in feminism that both made sense and irritated me. There is this assumption in a lot of the talk about intersectionality in feminism (which I don' see cropping up in conversations about racism, it's only the women who leave things out, I guess) that individual feminists should talk about the issues of all women whenever they talk about feminism. White feminists talk about the things that affect white women. Cis women talk about what affects them. Straight women are all about talking about dating issues in heterosexual couples. Western women talk about being a woman in America or Europe. And of course they do, because that is what they are, that is their experience. A black cis hetero man still experiences racism and still has things to complain about. A white cis hetero woman, likewise, has issues. Privilege doesn't even out oppression.

I get the complaint that most articles and talking about feminism is coming from a straight, cis, white, western perspective. I get that annoyance that they are the ones getting the big writing deals and having their voices and concerns heard. I get that they sometimes - or even usually - don't acknowledge other types of women, much less talk about the issues facing them. I get it, I really do, because there is something I've left out, maybe two, three, or more somethings. Two because being obese isn't seen as a 'real' disability and three or more because I don't remember every piece of identity all the time either.

One of the things feminist articles - especially those regarding the issue of dating or men hitting on women - is that all women are thin. When a fat woman pokes her head up and says "I wouldn't mind being hit on every now and then", she's told that she really wouldn't. And like clockwork, she backs down in the face of all of the thin/normal sized women's stories of creepy guys not leaving them alone. But as a fat woman, I can say that I don't mind being hit on now and then because it happens a lot more rarely than that. I've had people call out to me on the street. In New Orleans in March, a guy a block away started swinging his arms. When I got closer, he indicated that he wanted a hug. I shook my head and smiled, but I didn't feel creeped out at all. Being bigger than the average male - same average height, more average weight - I am not really afraid of them. In fact, I actually do feel flattered when people call out to me on the street, and I don't give a shit if the guy intended it that way or not. It is my feeling to have.

But I would never begrudge a thin, normal sized woman her feelings about those situations either. I think their experiences are important to understand and those issues are important to talk about. Sure, I'd like to read more about how fat women experience sexism (and without the concern trolling about our health, please). Intersectionality is important, but I can't stand the comments about how this article or that article didn't touch on this type of person or that type of person and therefore their feminism is oppressive, unwelcoming, racist, homophobic, anti-trans, and everything else. Nothing can be everything, so take it for what it is and write your own article that does talk about those kind of people.

Intolerant Vengeance

I am intolerant, I am angry, I have a thirst for vengeance. When a random person dies because someone has a Rambo complex, all of my compassion for the victims of our draconian criminal "justice" system goes out the door. When bloated, moronic thugs think that violence against protesters is warranted or even funny, I begin imagining the cruel things I'd like to do to them, and it is usually exactly what they are doing. I have no sympathy for Johannes Mehserle, though his show of remorse puts him above George Zimmerman. Both killed someone who did nothing to deserve it, who were trying to build successful lives, who were not threatening anyone.

I am disgusted by the Zimmerman defenders on Facebook today. Disgusted with their inability to grasp that no matter what Trayvon did in his life, he did not deserve to die. I am disgusted with their parroting of the uncorroborated story that Zimmerman told and changed over the ensuing months. To them, it is not good enough that a child is dead, that parents are mourning, and that the person that did it is free. I don't know what would be good enough for them. To me, they are without empathy, without compassion, without character. They will cry up and down that they are not racist, and that I am the one bringing race into the situation, but one cannot bring race into any situation in America, because it is already there.

Race and racism are inextricably intertwined, knotted, in the American story. Race and racism are the American story. You cannot tell the story of the early colonies without telling the story of the conflict between those with slaves and those without. You cannot explain the industrial revolution without examining the textile industry and it's roots in the cotton plantations of the south. Race is in everything we do in this country, it is present in every part of our society, and racism is a part of every single person here. It doesn't matter if you're white or not, it doesn't even matter if you have been a victim of racially based prejudice. If you are an American, it is not a question of "are you racist," but rather a question of "how racist are you?"

From that end, it is important to understand how we perceive race and how we act on it. If all you can do when you hear this is think "well, I have friends who are black, I can't be racist," I assure you that you most certainly are. If you never question your thoughts as you walk down the street and see black people walking towards you, you're probably crossing the street to avoid them. You're condescending to them at work and left wondering why they are getting testy with you. Like the addict who has to admit to the problem before being able to solve it, you have to see your own racism before you can consider rising above it.

I contemplated my own racism this week and it bothers me. I see names from certain cultures associated with projects at work that I would like to be doing and I become jealous and irritated. I assume they are in the position because they are cheaper labor, or because of something else, I don't know what. That bothers me and I am bothered by the bothering, and I'm not sure I will ever be able to control those thoughts. The important thing is that I am aware of them, and aware that they are unjustified and racist, and now I can see if my behavior changes because of them.

But the Zimmerman defenders will not do this. They will swear up and down that they are not racist in the least for this reason or another. They will pedantically bring up the idiotic notion that because Zimmerman wasn't completely white, that he somehow can't be racist. Then tell you that Zimmerman had a "right" to "defend himself" while ignoring the fact that he initiated the conflict in the first place. They can't be bothered to think that maybe Martin should have the same ability to defend himself from a stranger following him. The next step is to ask why the kid didn't call 911, to which I wonder if it is good enough that the boy paid for that mistake with his life.

Mehserle got away with murder, but he had remorse. I have enough reason to believe that he will be haunted by his actions for the rest of his life, but I have no reason to think Zimmerman is anything but pleased with what happened. He strikes me as a sociopath that I can't even bear to look at. He projected his own sociopathy onto a random person walking down the street. A person that fit a profile, one that he probably doesn't realize was racist, and just as the BART cops escalated the situation at Fruitvale because of their own unexamined racial anxieties, Zimmerman pursued an honor student coming back from a store with snacks. He didn't bother to talk to him and ask what he was up to; he followed him like a stalker, ensuring that the boy would be afraid and on the defensive.

My anger at this Zimmerman is overwhelming. The things I wish on him are best left unrecorded. That I am open about that is probably ammunition to the Zimmerman defenders - "hey, look, she just wants to see bad things happen to him, she's bad" - but I don't care. I'm human and I have human anger about the death of a promising 17-year-old boy. I'm angry about all of the promising young men who are cut down, and I'm angry at all of the young people who live in environments that don't allow them to be promising, like mine allowed me. I have this thirst for vengeance, and an intolerance for those who would not sympathize.

He's Still White

Everyone is on about how there is this new pope. The ABC World News show featured the single sentance news for over 15 minutes on their half-hour show when it happened. I was at the gym, and left at the 15 minute mark, but they probably filled that whole half hour with dribble about the new pope. Here is all you need to know.

Despite being born in Argentina, the new pope is of Italian ancestry and is old. He's a Whitey McWhiterson. In terms of adding more diversity to the Vatican leadership, this was less than the least they could do. He represents Europeans who left Europe and took ownership of land, probably, fraudulently, and set up life there - a colonist. In my eyes, that makes him MORE white than if his family had stayed in Europe. It means all white Americans are whiter than Europeans, including myself.

The new pope isn't a change, it is barely a bump. He's a whitey white whiterson who doesn't like homosexuality and will be replaced in another decade.

Oh, Shut Up Already

But, but, but,
I have all these reeeeeeasons why
I can't do that
It isn't that big of a deal
I'm laughing it off

Good gracious
If you're complaining
You have a problem
I will help you fix it
Get over your pride
Grow up, please

Oh, so you're just gonna do this this and this
You're gonna make sure you don't meet the definition
But you %&$#ing do
With every breath, you can't see how it manifests
Do you need a phd in gender studies to see the problem?
Do you have to be black to know racism?
How much evidence do you need to %&$#ing trust me?
I do not lie, I know what I know
And you are all @^*& monkeys, dancing on a string
%&$# you
%&$# you
%&$#

---

I went for a walk while at work, at this time, after calling people out on [Social Media], only to face people doubling down, and other frustrations. I started walking, but was going too fast, and my legs were hurting, so I decided to sit on some exercise things that were set up under a tree. There, I wrote that little poem.

Imagine That You Were Born 50 Years Earlier Than You Really Were

It is 1961, and you've just heard about those people riding the bus through Alabama to test segregation laws. You heard that one bus was set on fire, and the riders on the other were beaten up, severely. You get wind of students and others going down to Alabama to continue the ride to New Orleans. You have the free time... So, my question is,

Would you get on that bus?

I Guess it's Not That Bad

Oscar Grant is scheduled to come back to life in two years anyway.

Update: It isn't even two years, Mehserle gets to count the time served, so he will be out in seven months! Apparently, justice only has compassion for someone if that person is a police officer who killed someone. All I know is that guy better never show his face in the East Bay again.

Choices

I just saw the last part of Off and Running from POV. Avery is an African American teenager who was adopted by a Jewish lesbian couple. She and her boyfriend are track athletes. In the course of the show, she wrote a letter to her birth mother and received a response that set her into an identity crisis and may or may not have been a trigger for fights she had been having with her parents.

When I started watching, Avery was having trouble with her running. Her boyfriend was concerned about her because of all the things she was worried about. She was not living at home and was skipping school. The next set of scenes involved her taking a pregnancy test, then going to Planned Parenthood in Manhattan. Her comment was that she did not want to give up any of her children for adoption. She later ran in the Empire State Games and got the bronze. After acing the GED and studying for the SAT, she got a track scholarship to Delaware State. In the end, it seems like she made peace with her struggles and decided to hold off on contacting her birth mother until she finished college.

¿Dónde está la Sociedad del Futuro?

When I want to know where my [South Indian] friend is, I text "donde?" When I asked a new friend if her last name was Hmong, I prefaced it with "pregunta sobre tu nombre". In California, I assume everyone has some knowledge of Spanish. (Even if mine is a little jacked)

I found a fun Spanish language station out here, La Kalle, tu ritmo Latino, and I love listening to the DJs chatter seamlessly between Spanish and English. Comida is practically a synonym for food, hola is another way to say hi.

Who is it that wants to be around white people all the time? My "White Population in California" blog post gets a lot of traffic, I don't know why. Maybe it is a few deluded white people thinking that diversity isn't amazing.