Every Day

Today, I realized that it is the farmer's daughter in me that constantly wants to tell my managers what I get to see, what life is really like, and why Tuesday wasn't surprising. But it is the part of me that descended from a servant that holds me back. Every moment, this struggle plays out in my head. Every day.

I am "that person" who talks to you on the street corner. I shout things in the street, and lead the chants at rallies. But I also hold back, and really hate the spotlight. I'll design the posters, but my name won't be on them. I'll plan the rally, but only speak briefly. I ask hard questions at the meeting, demand answers, but hesitate to make the ultimate decision.

Every moment, every day, every second, I feel it. Sometimes I wonder about destiny, and damn serendipity. Because the truth is that I had no plan, other than getting things done, from day to day. Finish that homework assignment, read the book, answer the questions on the test, get an A in that teacher's class, have a good time with friends, make sure that I had enough clubs for my resume, get into a college, get to class, build a resume, and get a job. Do well, earn my keep, and make hay while the sun shines.

We'll see where this goes.