Appropriation or Appropriate?

Last night, I saw a local, all-white (presumably) production of the 2001 theater adaptation of Around the World in 80 Days, the 1873 Jules Verne novel. I have to say that I did enjoy the play, and was very glad that I went. There were accents and imitations done of people from around the world, which caused some eyebrow raises, but the play does call on only 5 actors to play 42 characters. No matter how diverse a cast, this play will require imitation. Thankfully, no one darkened their skin for any role. 

The scenes in America were both the most amusing - think an Englishman, his French servant, and an East Indian woman encountering perfectly stereotypical white male archetypes from the 19th century - and most troubling. The latter started when the train that the three protagonists are riding is attacked by "the Apaches" and a shoot-out ensues. The Frenchman goes off to save the day with some acrobatics on the locomotive but is also kidnapped by these Apaches. Upon his rescue, he comes bounding onto stage in a giant feathered headdress.

My eyes grew wide with disappointment, but the story went on to tell how the Apaches wanted to make him their "chef" based on his acrobatics on the locomotive, which could be a justification for wearing such an important item.

There are just a few more problems:

• The tribe in the novel was the Sioux, not the Apache's. This speaks to carelessness for the diversity of Native Americans that is all to common.
• The novel is from the time the US was lying to and slaughtering Native Americans constantly. It's not going to paint a sympathetic portrait of Native Americans. This is unfortunate and perhaps unavoidable for the actual novel, but we're supposed to know better now. We shouldn't be perpetuating it.
• The mythology around Natives accepting white people as gods or their leaders does have a tiny bit of historical precedent, but it's old and tired. 

Could this scene have been made in a better way, in terms of writing or costuming? I do not follow the idea that "any representation" is better than none, primarily when that representation just reinforces harmful stereotypes that still pervade our culture. 

So, appropriation? In terms of costume design, in terms of the script, costume design being accurate to the script? I cannot say no. Appropriate, in light of the story? I cannot say yes. 

More Musings

Friendship, friends. I've had many and few, none and a million. Best friends, former friends, good friends, friends that might as well have been enemies. I've fought, insulted, forgiven and been forgiven. But I still don't understand what makes someone a friend. Is it similar politics, interests? Could I be friends with my neighbor, even though we only talk in passing? Once, I was so desperate for friendship I'd be friends with anyone, even someone who nearly insulted me in each conversation though I couldn't see it. I know that not everyone will like me, but how do I tell if anyone likes me?

I feel as if my life has always been spent on the outside, looking in. Sometimes, I could be inside, but still felt like I was somehow not part of the group. Once, in Junior High, some girls made friendship bracelets and gave them to others as a symbol of friendship. There were seven of them, and somehow, I got one. It was orange. I wore it because I was flattered. I didn't feel like I deserved it, I didn't feel that close.

School seemed to breed friendships of necessity.  I made friends in my classes in elementary school. People in other classes were like the other, since I didn't see them on a constant basis. Even the kids in the afternoon kindergarten were strangers to me for part of first grade. Every year I had slightly different relationships with these friends, sometimes different friends. We had ups, downs, and heart-to-hearts, then the summer came. My life changed to revolve around the neighbor kids, making up games, sometimes chores, the farm, picking strawberries and raspberries with cousins, and the occasional sighting of that school friend. The summer festivals were good for that - Country Western Days, the Church Picnic, and one year, a barn fire* at a near-by farm.

A change of school brought new friends from new schools. I had always been on the fringes of the popular group in elementary school. Sometimes they let me play, sometimes not. I did this by choice because I noticed the social dynamic, and I wanted it to play in my favor. But Junior High was different, so I gravitated to a group of people who were sort of like me, but not quite outcasts, not quite the misfits. By the time I reached the end of it, I was flying high - not popular or anything, but everyone knew me, and that was how I like things. High School went pretty much the same way, as did college. I started alone and afraid, completely awkward and stupid. Made mistakes, gathered friends here and there, changed social groups from time to time, but always ended on a high note, feeling like the king of the school.

Graduate school broke the mold, probably because it wasn't like the rest. First of all, all of the first year students were of different ages, and I was the baby of them all. That wasn't really anything new to me, since I was the third youngest kid (by one and three days) in my grade in elementary school, but these people were a lot older than me, and had lived in cities that weren't Minneapolis or St. Paul. Still, it was easy to form friendships, since we all still had class together.

The other different with grad school was my accident. For the months after that, things seemed to be going well for me. Friendships seemed to be solidified and kept coming on. I was riding high, feeling good, making and rekindling friendships in person and online until the first blow, the first crack in the walls. I won't tell the details, but it was pretty offending, and it had me depressed for the first time in quite a while. Still, that was just an online slight, and I could learn from it. The people around me were still friendly, and inviting. We laughed, went out, had parties. It was all a great time until the great miscommunication.  It was then that my world seemed to fall apart, and I didn't know what to do. The main person refused to talk to me in person, then ran off to a foreign country for the summer. I took advantage of the absence to hang out with these friends as much as I wanted, but I knew that it wouldn't last. I remember the Last Time I got to hang out with them, and I remember knowing that it was the Last Time.

I tried to nurture other friendships that fall, and also tried to make new friendships, but something was off. I was also toying with dating and went out a lot. I guess that gave me some kind of reputation that I was unaware of. I was just being me, and trying to figure things out, but I was alone a lot. I got a boyfriend from shared politics, which was a mistake. I left graduate school on a serious low. I'd made some friends through that boyfriend, but like him, they weren't great and didn't last. My new home after grad school was thousands of miles away from the culture I knew. The people around me were much older, and now I realize that they were pretty disingenuous.

I made friends, lost friends, kept friends, rekindled friendships, but remain confused about who is being friendly and who is just being nice. Now I find myself with the prospect of leaving this place again and going into a new culture. I keep wondering if I'll get back to the Bay Area. I've never returned to a place after I left it except for home, except for one or two visits. If I did come back, would my friends still be here? Am I destined to always be a drifter? Wisconsin to Minnesota to Michigan to California to Texas, and then where? I was pretty set on living in Albuquerque when I was there.

* The fire was unplanned, an accident, but it drew a lot of locals and I remember it having a bit of a festival feel at the end. My family lived about a mile away from the farm. We saw the black smoke on the horizon and my dad said that it looked like smoke from a burning barn. He was right, and it turned out that it was the barn of a customer of my dad's. Volunteer Fire Departments from all over had to come to put the fire out. We eventually learned that it was caused by wet hay, which heats up under it's own weight and can combust. 

The National Cold

Everyone is sick. My roommate was sick first, as were some other people at work. Then I got something, and my boss was on sudafed. When I was in Minnesota, the cold finally hit me hard. Now everyone on facebook is sick, with the same thing. Coughing, headache, and mucous in the chest.

I guess now that the big national event is finally over, everyone's bodies are finally giving in to the seasonal change. Welcome to the National Cold.

Countdown to Picasso: Man With a Guitar (1911)

This is one of Picasso's Musicians, and one of a series of 'Man with a Guitar' paintings.

Countdown to Picasso: Two Brothers

Today, we have Two Brothers, from the Rose Period.

Countdown to Picasso: Portrait of Olga in an Armchair

Today's artwork is Portrait of Olga in an Armchair, from 1917.

Portrait of Olga in an Armchair, 1917, depicts the Russian ballerina and Picasso's first wife Olga Khokhlova sitting on a Spanish-design tapestry, the space around the figure left purposefully unfinished.

- Picasso masterpieces to tour the U.S., USA Today, October 6, 2010

Countdown to Picasso: Portrait of Dora Maar

Today, I present the Portrait of Dora Maar.

The 176-work exhibit also highlights Picasso's depictions of his numerous mistresses and muses, including Dora Maar. A 1937 portrait of the French surrealist photographer features a colorful Maar displaying flamboyant, red-nailed hands. It serves as a contrast to another oil-on-canvas portrait of Maar, who inspired his "Weeping Woman" series.

Countdown to Picasso: Celestina

On June 24, 2011, I get to see some of the 20th century's most esteemed and influential artwork, without a [costly] trip to Paris. Over the next two weeks, I will post daily links to and information about one work of art at the exhibit.

Today's work is la Celestine, from Picasso's blue period.

Picasso's 1904 oil-on-canvas masterpiece La Celestina shows a solitary, gray-haired bordello owner with a blinded eye. Picasso painted several similar portraits during his early-career Blue Period, characterized by somber tones and marginalized subjects such as beggars and prostitutes.

- Picasso masterpieces to tour the U.S., USA Today, October 6, 2010

My Own Stupid Fears

I heard yesterday morning that Juan Williams had been fired, but I had to go into the office before NPR covered the story. It wasn't until I got home and opened up Pandagon that I learned the basics of what had transpired. Juan indicated that he is fearful of people in "Muslim garb" because he thinks that they are all terrorists. There may be more to the story - that he actually implicated that Muslims are to blame for his fear - but I am not usually the type to look things up.

Officially, I'm deciding not to have an opinion on the events, positive or negative, cuz the guy is going to be financially ok. The events have made me think about the times when I have been nervous when seeing a young brown guy with or without typical Muslim clothing in an airport/plane setting. It's a knee jerk fear that I significantly dislike. The vast majority of brown guys I see are either like me - citizens going about their day - or people from other countries who work here and are also going about their day. I work with brown guys all the time. I've even dated brown guys. One told me a story about the reaction that some of his friends in London got on the subway right after the subway bombing. His friends were just going about their business that day, sitting on the train with their backpacks. They noticed that on one else was sitting near them on the crowded train. There was nothing for anyone to fear - the guys had laptops, work papers, and their lunches in their bags - but the people were nervous anyway, and the guys understood it completely.

Every time I have an episode of fear around a brown guy in an airport, I realize a) that if something were to happen to me, it is going to happen, and being nervous isn't going to change anything, and b) that the guy is just going about his business, just like me.

Of course, there was one episode in my life where I assumed that the guy walking down the street was just going about his business too, then he crossed the street and mugged me. There were other factors at play in that situation, and I saw it as mainly a $35 learning experience. I became a little more paranoid, but that has probably been for the better for me, since I was rather naive. However, I know that most people walking around in my neighborhood are just going home or going to a friends' place, even if for "nefarious" reasons. They don't give a crap about me beyond the five seconds when we are passing on the street.

Fears exist for so many reasons. Mine exist because of being brought up in white America in the late 20th century and picking up on so many negative messages. They are also borne of embarrassing and scary experiences of my own. I force myself to see just how rare those experiences have been, and how the vast majority of the time, the people around me couldn't care less about doing harm to me. It might not be how I feel, but it is a fact. Those feelings are not important to anyone but me.

Counter Commute

Last week, Amanda had a post on commuting, happiness, and how it relates to our current American political climate. The comment thread got too long for me to be able to read, because I have my own story that basically proves the point of the article.

• I commute 45 minutes to work one way, driving.
  
• I used to have a 3 mile, 10 minute commute before I moved here.
• I am much happier now than I was before I moved.

But wait, you say, that's the counter point? Oh, silly me, here is what makes me different.

• I often find driving at freeway speeds to be therapeutic, giving me time to sort out thoughts and practice explaining myself and my ideas.
• I live in a urban/semi-urban residential area, 3.5 blocks from a BART station. I routinely leave my car unused for entire weekends and spend the weekends with friends, shopping along Telegraph, seeing movies, planning events, and having engaging, intelligent, and fun conversations. My apartment here is not in some estate, it is one of 7 units in a building with character. I enjoy spending time by myself at home, and like making the place look good.
  
• The traffic congestion in the Bay Area is always in the opposite direction of the direction I am going [with the exception of random accidents -- 3 in 8 months].
• I work in a suburban area with strip malls, manicured lawns, and multi-million dollar homes. When I lived there, I could not walk anywhere that I wanted to be. I sometimes spent my weekends in Berkeley or San Francisco, but it required a lot of preparation and I was far from home. Other weekends were spent inside my apartment, completely alone and bored just because I didn't want to drive anywhere, even at freeway speeds. And my apartment was a stifling place, with beige carpets, oversized rooms, and no character. In short, I hated the place, and I had no desire to keep it looking nice, ever.

Not only do I not sit in traffic while I commute, I live in a real community area, validating Amanda's point about the factors that do influence happiness.

My Atheism, Part 1

Even in the worst of times, knowing the truth of the situation was always better, and the sooner I knew it, the better. For instance, my recovery from my brain injury was actually an enjoyable experience because I understood what was happening, thanks to science. This, my brain injury did not affect my worldview, like many assumed that it did.

I knew three things when I was recovering from my brain injury. I knew that I was a vegetarian, I knew what I was going to school to do, and I knew that I was an atheist. I recovered very well from my brain injury, which caused some "survivor guilt", for lack of a better term. I wondered why I was recovering so well and considered that it might be something supernatural. When I explored my thoughts and what I knew about my accident, I realized that there were natural factors to my recovery, the most significant being that my injury simply was not bad enough to cause permanent harm.

This did nothing to support my ego, like thinking that I was better than other people or that something mysterious had an affect, but I was proud to be able to apply reason to my situation and find an explanation that can be tested*.

Two atheists I know have chronic illnesses that will eventually kill them, one possibly in the next couple of decades (24 year-old). The other one (20 year-old) may have more time. These are two people around whom I feel comfortable stating my actual atheist viewpoints, like that the bible is just another [damned] book, written by people. I'm comfortable stating that there is no afterlife around these people, knowing full well that their lives are likely to end much sooner than my own. These are atheists in foxholes.

* Imagine you were able to create a brain injury in others in increasing intensity and monitor their recovery. Conducting this experiment, however, would be painful and occasionally deadly. The loss of life for some and the loss of mental capacity for pretty much all the other people in the study is unacceptable to me because I assume that there is no afterlife, which is an important thought in my own atheist cannon.

Here is My Cat

This is Kitty Amin, she lives in the barn at my parents' place in Wisconsin. My dad blames our family's acquisition of her on me, so she became my cat, but as I recall, I just wanted to give her some kitty treats, it was Dad that let her in the house.

See, when I was home after my brain injury, things were a bit boring. Splotches, the only cat we had at the time, was not very exciting since she was never really a people-cat. One day, as I was trying to pet Splotches, I saw a cat walking down the driveway. I called to my dad about the cat and he replied, "yeah, that's the cat that comes over and eats the left over cow feed!" I went out to give her some treats and then Dad let her come in the house. We thought she was pregnant because her belly was so big and she looked otherwise starved. But the gestation period for kittens came and went and no kittens. I had some friends that were on a dictator-cat-name theme, so I decided to call this cat "Kitty Amin". Her size fits her namesake perfectly, though I wasn't thinking about that when I named her. She is a very friendly cat, which is problematic because she smells like the barn.

You're Kidding Me

I'm watching all of the episodes of Bullshit from Penn & Teller. I'll be posting reviews of certain clumps of episodes, but I'm starting with the episode College, which is actually an indictment of diversity. I can hear the bs reason for the society in Fahrenheit 451 already. In all seriousness, I am censoring my post because I am nervous about having this blog deleted, literally. Though I have almost every reason to believe that the threat of this is gone, the risk is too great, censoring away!



That is an image of [a college], my alma mater and the episode actually talked about [something I vividly remember]. [I had another paragraph about my relationship with the events and people and locations portrayed] [Finally there was a paragraph about the racial make-up of the campus and other things] I can say that the episode's description of events does not match my recollection in that it leaves things out and doesn't actually answer any of the questions I had 8 years ago.

The white rich guy in the episode said that women, people of color, LGBT, etc people are treated like children when we are "told" that we should not be exposed to certain types of speech or opinions. In my experience, these same people are asking for a learning environment free of these assholes. It isn't just speech or opinions either. Remembering going to my alma mater, I remember a lot of conversation and yes, vitriol aimed at people who said stupid racist shit. Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from criticism of your hate speech. But a lot of what was said also wasn't protected speech. Harassment and threats are not the same as free speech. Sure, attention to diversity can be problematic - I am not a moral relativist - but you can't have an open discussion with someone that insists that "f****ts", "n****rs", and "b***hes" are less than human.

We have a history in this country that creates a context of hostility towards anyone not that "majority" group with which we are familiar. It is very easy for members of a group that has not been threatened with violence or are seen [more in the past than now, thank goodness] routinely as less than human to tell us what we want. In fact, they do it all the time and they did just now. Sure, diversity is rationally ridiculous to people that don't benefit from it, but ask the out black lesbian who is going to college to learn chemistry about the tangible benefits of diversity training and even awareness in the people around her in her ability to obtain her degree.

This episode could have been much more powerful and I did not come away from the episode with any new knowledge, literally, even about the incident at my alma mater. It could have been an indictment of the excesses of diversity training. They hit on some overreactions at my alma mater and pulled a stunt protesting diversity at a diversity event. Tolerating intolerance is not tolerance and the episode proved that universities are aware of this fact. The tolerance of any idea without editing, without regard to effect is an excess of diversity and no one is doing that. Making campus safe for a KKK group would be a problem, but it isn't happening. I think the fact that this episode had to go to a second rate state university in a state that most people in America forget about to get an example of "diversity gone wrong" when it wasn't even ABOUT "diversity" is an indication that they REALLY had to reach for something that just ain't there. Seriously.

The show could have also addressed the issue of too many people going to college or getting crap degrees with which they cannot get a good job after they graduate. What about grade inflation and the snowflake epidemic? They tried to address this issue by trotting out names of talented and/or lucky people that struck it rich without college, but that does not a criticism of college make. Everyone knows that being an entertainer does not necessitate college, with the exception of maybe Peter Graves. But these days college has become what high school used to be - a training ground for young people before they enter adulthood. But we consider that college and made high school into a holding pen for children and elementary school is elaborate day care. Colleges need to be places that create future leaders, artists, professionals, and scholars to enhance society for all people, whether or not they went to college. They should not pass students after they skip the final and even ask not to be failed so they can have time to drop the class.

There is so much this episode could have been, and it should have been two episodes to address the excesses of diversity (because they exist) and the problems in college today. As is, this episode just taught me that some highly educated and high powered and uneducated but wealthy entertainer white guys don't think that diversity or college are good things, respectively. I should probably make up some kind of rating system, but overall, this episode is bullshit.

Is This My Birthday?

Ok, so first, I see the article about Crist, but I skip past it, and decide to read what my dear leader was saying:

Governor Sanford says that he does not want to take the money, the federal stimulus package money. And I want to say to him: 'I'll take it.' I'm more than happy to take his money or any other governor in this country that doesn't want to take this money, I take it, because we in California need it. ... You know, you've got to go beyond just the principles. You've got to go and say, 'What is right for the country right now?'

-Gov. Schwarzenegger (R-CA), "GOP Civil War: Schwarzenegger Slams GOP Govs' Stimulus Refusal"

The visual of Ahnold calling their bluff was pretty amusing and a good pick-me up. The title is pretty corny though. Scrolling doesn, I next saw an article called "Poor Bush: Websites Mocking W. Rank Higher Than His Own Presidential Library Site". It was a nice little 'feel good' piece that served to satisfy our national need for schadenfreude.

The next one down, however, got me thinking about international women's rights and strategies to be effective in more ways than just raising awareness. Those thought processes can get very depressing or frustrating pretty fast. The emotional response can become similar to the kinds of feelings I have when I am worried about my friends and loved ones. So, after I came to a conclusion to the thought process, I really wanted to see actual good things happening instead of work to be done. I decided to go back up top to read what Crist was saying:

The people elected him. And I'm willing to give him a good shot and try to help make this work. We're in a tough time, as we talked about before. I think we do need to be bipartisan. We need to be, in fact, nonpartisan.

-Gov. Crist (R-FL), "There's Only One National Leader, 'His Name Is President Obama'"

And I was shocked. I read the whole post and returned to that phrase in the article. His utterance of 'nonpartisan' reminded me of an awesome Pandagon article that I was unable to locate so I cannot supply a link. It has been a good birthday morning today.

Lose More Weight, Have More Sex, Be More Awesome

That is my New Year's Resolution, to be executed with the following plans.

Lose More Weight

• Maintain healthy eating habits like eating a balanced breakfast, making sure I get protien with every meal, avoid that HFCS, eat more fruits and vegetables, and don't binge
• Begin working out again
• Go climbing more often
• Construct a better outdoor activity wardrobe and make more hiking dates

Have More Sex

• Maintain the current plan to increase confidence and don't back down from the predator mode
• Take any and all lessons from the Ghetto Boy
• Make sure I don't lose contact with the Ghetto Boy
• Wait and see if The Hottie wasn't just being a tease
• Tend to the rest of my harem appropriately
• Try another angle for CL ads
• See other parts of the plan

Be More Awesome

• Perfect my footless highway driving
• Create a Britney Pool
• Follow up with all of the projects projected for '09
• Push bosses to create a ticketing systems to charge for small consulting projects
• Follow through on documentary idea (meeting with a friend already scheduled)
• Improve concentration at work

Who Gets to Talk to the Imaginary Friend?

Everyone is pissed off about Rick Warren. Well, at least everyone with a basic understanding of discrimination, hate speech, and human rights. A guy on the Jim Lehrer News Hour compared Warren's appearance before the innaguration and a more liberal preacher giving the Benediction later with having an anti-semite in Warren's place and expecting to smooth it over by having a rabbi speak at the end.

But people HATE comparisons like that when talking about anything relating to gender and breaking outdated roles built for XX or XY people. Comparing gay people with Jews? How can you compare homophobia with the Holocaust? Oh... wait... homosexuals were rounded up then too...

Homosexual people and women who want to control when and how often they will or won't become pregnant are still expected to take this as "tolerance". When someone's politics don't directly affect my life, then I will tolerate them. However this guy wants to tell me how to live and interfere with my ability to be a productive and happy citizen, so sorry, no tolerance here.

8:30pm Update: As bad as this is, it is five minutes. The more we focus on this, the less we focus on the new regulation to make it more complicated and, in some places, impossible for people to get abortions, emergency contraception, normal birth control methods, or really make any decisions about one's own body without some doctor, pharmacist, nurse, assistant, or janitor slut-shaming and denying what could be a life-saving service. Even a month of that is enough to fuck up a lot of people. In my case, I get to spend my vacation grilling prospective pharmacies about whether or not they will fill my prescriptions, saying nothing about finding doctors. (my new and better insurance kicks in on January 1 - so long, Kaiser!) Hooray for stress that I don't need.

Seven Years Ago

The week after Thanksgiving, on a Monday night, Minnesota and northern Wisconsin had a snow storm. Huge piles of snow dropped on the great white north, closing most schools on Tuesday. College classes weren't canceled until after everyone had already done their best to get to campus (about a third of the students at my college commuted to class from around town). It was also the second Tuesday that semester that classes were canceled after noon, the first one being on September 11.

I felt bad for any teachers - or students, for that matter - with Tuesday night classes, which met only once per week. Living in the dorms, the snow storm was nothing but fun for me. I woke up in my loft and decided to cancel my classes myself - screw what the administration said. I had just gotten a mattress pad for my bed and it was soooooooo comfy! Actually, I can't remember if I went to class or not, I'm pretty sure I didn't, but I was up and about that day. After all, the cafeteria was on the other side of campus, and I had to eat and catch up with friends.

That night, while hanging out in the dorm room we all hung out in, my friends and I decided that we were going to celebrate the storm and get drunk. Problem was that we had no booze, only one of us was 21, and the liquor store would be closing soon. So we created a shopping list. For some reason, two of us wanted wine coolers, another two wanted beer, and someone wanted some Boons. The 21-year-old and I set out with our backpacks. We weren't normally friends, him being an evangelical and me being an atheist, but we hung out and got along. He was also an Art Major and I was History. We decided that if we saw any of his Christian group friends, we would tell them that we were on the way to the library to study. If we were past the library, we were going to a classmate's apartment off-campus to study. What were we studying? Art History, of course. We could safely tell most of my friends the truth about out outing.

So onwards we trudged over the ice and through the little paths created in the foot deep snow. We finally made it to the Coburns liquor store with time to spare. My friend went in and bought the consumables - 22 glass bottles in all. When we were safely across the street, in the parking lot of some church or other, we packed the bottles in our backpacks, taking care to make sure we weren't seen. SCSU was a dry campus, after all. We ventured back slowly. Clinking bottles would be a dead give-away. My friend told me that if I fell on the ice and broke anything, he didn't know me. We made it back to the dorms, checked in with the night supes (it was past 10pm by now) and walked up the stairs to see the rest of our friends resting in heated comfort.

That night was a lot of fun. We peeled off our snowy clothes, drank, and danced all night long. Being only 20 years old, I wasn't smart enough to avoid a hang over yet, so the next day, I felt awful. I ended up canceling my own classes again and nursed myself while working on a paper for my Wednesday night class. On Thursday, I remember taking a good look at that snow with some co-workers at my admissions job. I remarked that it looked like it would be gone by Christmas. They thought I was crazy, but the snow was gone by finals that semester.

Note to Self

• Buying Sudafed, Affrin, and Saline Nasal Spray isn't enough, you need to use it, then you won't get this sinus pressure.


• But the only time I ever feel it is when I am near the Caldecott


• Didn't you feel it another time on Tuesday?


• Maybe, I thought that was on the BART approach to that tunnel


• You didn't take the BART through the tunnel, you parked at MacArthur that night


• Duh. Haven't the last few days been totally awesome?


• Totally, especially that little dose of weekend on Tuesday night


• That was so enjoyable, I really should move to the city


• Yeah, but you'll have to wait another 9 months until that lease is up


• Not to mention the moving and commute considerations


• No kidding

Just a Farm Girl from the Middle of Nowhere

I spent the day analyzing information, then I stopped by a local bar and had a shot of Patrón, an early birthday gift from the co-worker that invited me out. After some socializing, I set out for home to get ready to go dancing in the city. I missed the 9:20 train by just a few moments, but I wasn't very late to the club. After running across the street, I waited in the short line, then showed the bouncers my ID. The normal $20 cover was waived because I was on the guest list, and I made my way inside.

The video isn't that great, but I wanted to show one outing option for visitors :D

There were three dance floors, one electronic, one hip hop, and the other kind of a mix. I liked them all, because I just like to move, but my friend was partial to the electronic floor. That floor was a little more friendly and fun, and I had a great time. My friend told me this was the most upscale club he'd been to, and it was pretty nice, but I knew it was hot when I saw the guy with the mullet. If you don't know, much to my chagrin, mullets are all OVER Europe right now. I thought for sure this was a group of kids from Europe - Italy, Spain, maybe southern France, but when I asked the guy where he was from, he said "Texas"! I was shocked, the told him that the mullet, essentially (I gestured to his hair), was all over Europe and that he looked omg so hip.

I love clubbing - I may not be the best dancer, the drinks might be overpriced, I may get slightly skeevy guys trying to dance up on me (and sometimes slightly cute guys too), and I might get really sweaty by the end of the night, but I love it all. I think my favorite part is when I think about where I'm from and where I am right now, and then how much more awesome life will get. The SATC girls taught me that life definitely does not end at 30 or even beyond, so I look forward to years of good times, laughter, and dance. The past 5 weeks of New Urs have been the best of my life, and I'm glad I get to share the experience with you, dear readers. You're very welcome to partake in the fun.

Where Have I Been?

Where have I been? Why here, in California, the entire time. Last weekend, a good friend came in to town suddenly. Sadly, she was able to stay with me and sleep through the night since there was no baby to wake her with its cries. Being the bitter, aging hags that we are, we decided to go to San Francisco for the 4th of July. Having no strollers to push or husbands to accompany us, we ate where we wanted and found ourselves at Coit Tower, which offered a great view of the city. Later, we spent money that we could have used to buy formula on some delicious wines and seafood at Scoma's. Neither of us being pregnant, we finished the meal with some tiramisu and irish coffee.

The next day, we awoke in a house painfully free of children around noon. No children whined as I got lost in San Francisco and none screamed as we strolled through Cathedral Grove in Muir Woods. Our empty wombs ached as we ate a lovely dinner overlooking the ocean at Sutro's in the Cliff House that evening. On Sunday, we awoke early, not because we had to get the children ready, or even to set a good example, but to drive up to Sonoma. We wasted a day of our prime childbearing years tasting splendid wines and idly flirting with the guys at the wineries. Eventually, we blew the $500 we could have spent on diapers on fine wines.

[pictures and links coming soon, I just wanted to get this post published]