Intersectionality vs. Being Human

I read yet another screed on intersectionality in feminism that both made sense and irritated me. There is this assumption in a lot of the talk about intersectionality in feminism (which I don' see cropping up in conversations about racism, it's only the women who leave things out, I guess) that individual feminists should talk about the issues of all women whenever they talk about feminism. White feminists talk about the things that affect white women. Cis women talk about what affects them. Straight women are all about talking about dating issues in heterosexual couples. Western women talk about being a woman in America or Europe. And of course they do, because that is what they are, that is their experience. A black cis hetero man still experiences racism and still has things to complain about. A white cis hetero woman, likewise, has issues. Privilege doesn't even out oppression.

I get the complaint that most articles and talking about feminism is coming from a straight, cis, white, western perspective. I get that annoyance that they are the ones getting the big writing deals and having their voices and concerns heard. I get that they sometimes - or even usually - don't acknowledge other types of women, much less talk about the issues facing them. I get it, I really do, because there is something I've left out, maybe two, three, or more somethings. Two because being obese isn't seen as a 'real' disability and three or more because I don't remember every piece of identity all the time either.

One of the things feminist articles - especially those regarding the issue of dating or men hitting on women - is that all women are thin. When a fat woman pokes her head up and says "I wouldn't mind being hit on every now and then", she's told that she really wouldn't. And like clockwork, she backs down in the face of all of the thin/normal sized women's stories of creepy guys not leaving them alone. But as a fat woman, I can say that I don't mind being hit on now and then because it happens a lot more rarely than that. I've had people call out to me on the street. In New Orleans in March, a guy a block away started swinging his arms. When I got closer, he indicated that he wanted a hug. I shook my head and smiled, but I didn't feel creeped out at all. Being bigger than the average male - same average height, more average weight - I am not really afraid of them. In fact, I actually do feel flattered when people call out to me on the street, and I don't give a shit if the guy intended it that way or not. It is my feeling to have.

But I would never begrudge a thin, normal sized woman her feelings about those situations either. I think their experiences are important to understand and those issues are important to talk about. Sure, I'd like to read more about how fat women experience sexism (and without the concern trolling about our health, please). Intersectionality is important, but I can't stand the comments about how this article or that article didn't touch on this type of person or that type of person and therefore their feminism is oppressive, unwelcoming, racist, homophobic, anti-trans, and everything else. Nothing can be everything, so take it for what it is and write your own article that does talk about those kind of people.

Mental Illness is Hilarious and Wrong

There is this article going around about people getting bad customer service because they are bad customers, and I do not doubt the premise. I've seen people be rude, condescending, and arrogant with servers and others in the customer service industry. I've heard stories from people who thought they were getting bad service, but from the events of the story, I could tell that the person was a dick. But this article, in my opinion, does not describe one of those people. Instead, it describes an incident of a woman, disappointed with a mistake in her order, yelling at a service worker.

Others read this and are quick to yell back at this woman for being unreasonable, but having been someone who overreacted to situations, I see it differently. My immediate assumption is that this woman is having significant stresses in other parts of her life andor may have mental illness. She may have been suffering from low blood sugar on account of not having eaten for a while which is a possible - nay probable - reason for why she choose a fast food drive through for her meal. Low blood sugar makes the mind do silly things and think things are right when they really are wrong. Another factor is that an ingredient that she did not want was added to her order, and she could have good f*cking reasons for not wanting that ingredient, like an allergy. She may not have the resources to cope with her mental illness or blood sugar issues, she may not even have the intelligence to understand that is what is happening, and she put some strain on the staff of this restaurant and caused a scene, but she doesn't deserve this criticism from strangers on the internet.

I really hope that the next article I read about an example of a customer behaving badly isn't such an obvious example of someone with untreated mental illness.