Learn to Let Go

The internets are amused at a sign posted in some store, linked here. This is along the lines of no shirt, no shoes, no service rules that greeted me at eye level as a child when I accompanied my father into various gas stations in rural Wisconsin. I often wondered why "pants" was left off, and then I wondered what the big deal was about the lack of either article of clothing. If it was hot, lots of men wore no shirt, but their wallet was in their pants. When I was on a long car trip with my mother to Cincinnati, we might not have our shoes on when we stopped to use the restroom. But no shoes was an obvious safety problem, shirts less so. And this ban on saggy pants seems even less logical.

I didn't get socialized in a normal way. I've always been on the outside of normal society and thus looked at it from the outside and learned the views of the outsiders. I've only recently realized how abnormal I am, which led me to think that any knowledge I gained in the course of my life was simply the information that all the normies acquired when they didn't invite me to parties.  So when I look at strange clothing, different ways of behaving, music and dance, I don't assume that my initial reaction of shock should turn to disapproval. I assume my shock is simply a result of me being on the outside, so I accept the reality that is and move on. Sometimes, I look into the roots of what I am seeing, but if I find no harm in the newness, acceptance is enough for me.

So I do find the low pants phenomenon to be strange. It has been going on since at least the mid 1990's (see Clueless), so I think it has passed the 'fad' phase and it is now a staple in American dress styles. I've seen pants so low that I wonder how a person can walk. It seems utterly impractical to me, similar to the fad (I can only hope) of the platform high-heel, but without the inherent foot damage. And yes, I can see the plaids and stripes of boxer shorts between the pants and the shirts, but they don't register to me as offensive. One could be wearing plaid pants, or these guys could have briefs on under those boxers.

This is where cultural relativism has completely taken over my value system. I do not believe in absolute cultural relativism by any means, but perhaps my childhood spent not feeling a full part of my own culture, then studying other cultures and feeling ashamed for mocking them has made me immune from the outrages that others of my culture jump to so easily. The only things that bother me are the things that cause real harm, all else is noise or intrigue.

Success Outside the Cult

I think it is depression that is preventing me from seeing any reason to do anything. But I also see a lot of inefficiencies in what people do. I understand that religion is a myth, that there is a limit to the stuff one can buy, that renting isn't a worse financial investment than buying a house, that processed foods aren't worth the stuff they're packaged in, that lower taxes on wealthy individuals and corporations hurt society, and that the only way to make a living in a society like this is to drink the kool-aid.

It's frustrating and depressing. What good is knowing all this stuff if I end up unemployed, with no access to health care?

Won't Fit on a Bumper Sticker

I wrote this comment in response to a facebook posting of an image that said "Those who wear a helmet to defend our country should make more than those who wear a helmet to play football."

The truth, the very sad and upsetting truth is that no one fighting in the name of the United States is actually protecting "the United Sates". They are protecting special interests of global corporations, some of which may be headquartered in the United States.

There is an argument to be made about rooting out terrorists that are plotting to attack the United States. However, there are far more effective ways to prevent those attacks than to run around their home with guns. In fact, running around the homes of people already upset enough with the US to plan attacks, with guns and in tanks, is a pretty good way to ensure that those people STAY upset with the US.

However, these are not the decisions of the individual members of the military. It is my opinion that those individual members should be compensated enough to have a comfortable life for them, and their families. They should have employment opportunities after their military service ends, and a military pension. When the United States government recruits an 18-year-old, it should understand the cost of supporting that person for another 70-80 years.

That the government doesn't make decisions this way is part of why high-profile athletes, and even low profile major league athletes make so much money. It is because humans are profoundly stupid, and short-sighted. Most of us, and especially those with a lot of money to waste, only look at dollars in and dollars out. But dollars in does not equal real value. The irony is that people who do understand the meaning of real value are unlikely to bother having a lot of money, and it is easier to procure power and influence with dollars than with living a valuable life.

But I find the comparison in this image to be kind of stupid. Both positions fill a role in society. American football players are providing entertainment, which a lot of people think is frivolous. Those people, however, do have means of entertaining themselves, and do not think of their own activities as frivolous. Entertainment is important, and American football in particular fills a very important role. I shudder to think of what fall 2012 in America would have been like without the ritual of the NFL and college football to distract all of the angry white (mostly male) conservatives in this country.

American football also fills a role in American society that exists in all societies, going back as far as we have recorded history. Like it or not, people like to watch other people, and sometimes animals, fight. Roman gladiators, jousting matches, organized boxing matches, rugby, and American football seem "barbaric", but they all let a lot of people (the spectators number higher than the participants) get their aggression out, without actually hurting anyone.

Cynically, I can say that American football gives stupid people, who are, sadly, the majority, something to get excited about. Whining that they should be excited about something else is a losing game.

How Much More Productive Could I Be?

Working with this person is seriously the worst day of my life. The person is supposed to be an expert at a topic that I know more about. I don't even know. This person wants to leave the hotel together, and keeps inviting me out for dinner, and to eat lunch together, and we're sharing a damn office. I want to scream.

This person noticed that I was growing impatient, and wondered if it was something they "had done." How do you tell someone that the reason that you are so irritated around them is that they are dumb as a box of rocks? I made up some stuff about my seasonal affective disorder, which is making me less outgoing. Then I got a talk about how great I am, and I should remind myself of this when I am sad.

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My sadness is not going away because I remember that I am the sh*t - depression doesn't work like that. I know that I am awesome. I'm irritated because I have to slow myself down to work with some idiot, which just happens to be the person I'm talking to at that moment.

Random Thought, Only Not

Why do people fight aging? It is so pointless - you'll be old eventually, you're already old. Me, I can't believe that I'm going to exist, take in information, have emotions, and hear annoying things, like the guy snorting snot back into his sinuses, for at least another 50 years. I'm going to be menstruating for another two decades, for crying out loud.

Soaring

I felt this incredible sensation when I came home from my vacation in August, like our society is on a great precipice. We could go crashing down, or take off, and soar. There are so many people out there, creating amazing art, and doing wonderful things. So many more people are seeing through the lies, through the bullsh*t than ever before.

There is a lot of talk about the generations, and it seems as if we have been preparing for the boomers to retire for a long time now. Only a few of them are retiring, right now, since it was their idiotic economic policies that drove the stock market up, then left it in the ditch. They also seem content on dismantling the social safety net that their parents toiled for, but only for part of their generation, and those that came afterwards.

This generation, my generation, once dubbed Generation Y, and now lumped in with millenials, grew up after all the generational fervor that the boomers went though. We noticed how they spit on their parents' traditions, and how their parents blamed them for everything wrong in their world, then sent them off to war.

We heard about how the greatest minds of their generation were destroyed by madness, only to be held down, ourselves, by the minds that were left over. We endured the same criticisms about our music that they endured about theirs, yet we didn't turn around and spurn the Rolling Stones or Motown. In fact, many of us own more vinyl now than they maybe ever did.

The boomers taught us, provided for us, gave us everything they never had, and when we grew up, we actually were grateful. Sad, however, that so few of them are noticing. The people my age seem to be respectful of their elders, and excited to hear all of the stories. I may roll my eyes when a man in his 60's speaks wistfully of the old Haight-Ashbury days, but that is only because I've heard it all before. The 20-somethings listening to him are indeed interested, and really do want to know more.

The Class of 2000 have families now, and I see them when I go for walks. They are outside, at the playground, with their kids. They are walking through the grocery store, picking out vegetables for dinner. But I also see them in other places, struggling in low-paying jobs, and using drugs to escape their turmoil. They are shying away from jobs with large organizations, because they don't want to give up their freedoms, and don't like the idea of stifling their creativity.

They may take a low-level job for the health insurance, but they will only do the minimum, because their heart isn't in it. Meanwhile, the person that wants that job is stuck in another job, for that same health insurance. Give them health insurance that isn't related to a job - ensure their guaranteed health care, no matter what they do - and the qualified but uninterested will quit, making way for the questionably qualified, but eager people, who are actually interested in doing that job. Then watch as the newly freed people fill up those abandoned storefronts. Imagine a downtown district that gets cleaned every day, creative shops, bustling eateries, and friendly neighbors.

We are on a great precipice this year. We can either go down the deep end, spurring anger, and riots, or we can stop this fighting, stop resisting reality, talk to our neighbors, jump off this cliff, and soar.

Episodes of the Reality Resistant

Say, the best way to lower abortions is to increase access to contraception, and improve sex education? Studies prove this, and families that preach abstinence include pregnant teenage girls?

Why, slash sex-ed funding and make it really hard to access contraception, then make abortion illegal, that will SOLVE EVERYTHING!

What makes people this stupid? They have to get up, get dressed, and eat every morning - or maybe they don't.

Maybe they get up, get dressed, and have a cup of coffee for breakfast, thinking that skipping breakfast will help them lose weight. Then they act like entitled asses all morning, and go out to lunch with their idiotic buddies to talk about a bunch of stupid crap in their lives.

Charities actually find your donations of canned goods to be annoying, and have for a very long time. They've only told you this recently because they finally overcame the human nature to "say something nice, or say nothing at all", but all the canned hominy and old spam that you gave actually went to waste.

But we've done the can drive for 40 years now, and it helps the kids to think of those that are less fortunate! I see no reason to stop now, besides, those charities will just waste the money anyway.

Does it even matter to these people that they are wrong? How on earth do they sleep at night? Do they even retain the knowledge that they are so ineffably stupid?

Sure, they come back from lunch with food in their bellies, but they're unaware that they missed a great presentation from a foreign policy institute on the impact of sanctions on Iran. Your average conservotard spends the rest of the day busing about like mad, unable to say no to anyone and ensure that there is enough time to finish the tasks at hand. When there is a lull, random research is done, and snide remarks are made about the biggest hurricane, ever, "slowing to a trickle".

I take minerals and vitamins to help my immune system, but the person that I live with got sick last week. While I'm not as sick as he was, I'm still pretty out of it. Slightly delusional, unable to concentrate well, and nervous about getting other people sick

Well, you were still able to write this blog post, you should be able to do your job.

Oh, for &%$*'s sake, thank goodness management isn't that stupid.

Unhinged, October 12

I want to post something this week, before the Sunday Football post, but I have been a bit overwhelmed with work. Which leads me to the point of this post. The United States is going crazy right now, you may have noticed. A bunch of astrologers are saying "Mercury is in retrograde", which is less significant than the fact that 20+ years of conservative/reactionary propaganda have wrapped up a generation of people - mostly white men - in a frothing rage. At the same time, decades of acceptance, racial tolerance, and women acting like human beings, instead of brooding mares, have created a generation of people who can see the other group for who they are - who they always have been.

In short, the latter generation is on the move, having a good time, and being productive (when they're not trying to drown out the former generation with substance [ab]use). The former generation is getting older, smaller, and angrier. They're frothing at the mouth now, maybe they always have been. The problem is that the latter generation is getting wiser and wiser to them, and getting more and more clout with the mainstream, and is increasingly able to stand up to the former.

My perspective, of course, will always be skewed by the enormous amount of information that my brain holds, and can recall quickly. Having overcome my addiction, and survived a resetting brain injury, and all of the ramifications of the behavioral consequences, I can see the world in striking clarity - from 40,000 feet in the sky, to the bottom of the ocean, and all points in between. It creeps me out, but it also puts me at ease. Things catch me off guard, but few things truly surprise me. For instance, there was a person in my life that I considered a friend, but he turned on me, and now, he is trying to stoke my paranoia. Instead of succumb to this, dwell in my own rage, and even quit, I decided to use the tools provided, and am rising like a phoenix.

I hope the same can be true of my generation, raised on equality, honesty, and acceptance. We need to keep pushing forward, and maybe, that generation steeped in resentment, anger, and entitlement will wise up. Sadly, I think most of them will just die out, clinging fiercely onto their anger. A sad legacy for those born after such a joyous victory.

My Offensive Reality: Roots of Problems and Lady Boys

On Friday morning, I walked around Berkeley and North Oakland while listening to a lot of Soul music. My walk took me to the UC Berkeley campus, and got there just in time to see all the students going to their 9am classes. I wanted to buy some CDs, but the record stores did not open until later, one at 11, and another at 10:30. Even Moe's did not open until 10am, so I went to a breakfast place that supports the no sit-lie proposition for Telegraph & other places in Berkeley. Personally, I wish we had better public mental health services and a more thriving economy to solve the persistent begger problem in Berkeley, but it seems easier to make it more illegal to be poor in America.

I went home and watched RuPaul's Drag Race, where a couple of episodes broached the question of people being legally forbidden to marry - not because they are too young, or deemed mentally incompetent, but because the other competent adult that they want to marry isn't of the opposite sex. Another episode went over the contestant's journeys in life, and the struggles they have had with acceptance from their families. The other parts of the shows were fabulous, with incredible costumes, makeup, singing, and dancing. One show asked the contestants to be rock 'n' roll singers, and sing RuPaul's own song called Lady Boy. The song is about the essence of being a Drag Queen, in my opinion. That of a man, who does not want to be a woman, but who enjoys dressing up, putting on makeup, wigs, and high heeled shoes to become completely fabulous, glamorous, and carefree. I know that everyone has difference preferences, but I don't understand people who would never want to experience that for themselves.

Free Speech and Dangerous Delusions

After walking Steve to work yesterday, I bummed around Telegraph and stopped across from the Delusion Corner to observe. For the longest time, some Jesus Crispies have been preaching near a fenced off plot of land at the northeast corner of Telegraph and Haste. The used to use the natural volume of their voice, and hand out fliers. Then they got microphones, and now they have a rock band.

The music, itself, wasn't that bad, and had they just used their instruments, it might have been a nice backdrop for shopping, but there was singing too. At first, the songs were inanely delusional - stuff that would cause an individual to waste her life following someone's fever dream, but nothing that impacts me - but then they pissed me off. In a litany of things we should trust Jesus for, they claimed that we should trust in him for our government and economy.

I had set myself up on the southwest corner of the intersection to observe in amusement, but I was furious. I stated "No we shouldn't" a couple of times, but not loudly. For all the idiots whining about Sharia Law, here was someone with a permit issued by the city declaring his wish to undermine the constitution for religious purposes. I angrily wondered how to get these idiots off the street, but then I remembered.

Long ago, I saw a video clip of an interchange happening in the middle of the 20th century between someone speaking out in favor of Communism and some observing US Soldiers. I think the interchange was staged, for propaganda purposes. The Communist had his standard speech and one of the soldiers said [roughly]:

You should be happy to live in the United States, where you are free to say these things.

The legal precedent of our nation also allows these people to say what they want, even with amplifying devices, on the street. So while the authoritarian in me wanted to shut these idiots down, I decided instead to observe and record their now less than amusing delusions.

I got audio of a song with a completely contradictory message, and observed a completely indifferent crowd pass by the band and the people handing out fliers. My initial fury gave way to a larger perspective. Just as communists can say what they want, even about "radical revolution", so too can these people, and it looks to be just as productive.

Ewe Ess Aye! Live Blogging

In the dawn of Internet 2.0, I seem to remember that live blogging just meant updating a post. I might have made that up. I was compelled to do this today.

Just Before Game Start: The commentator called the US team 'attractive', which in context simply means that they perform well, but strikes me as an odd adjective to use.

10 minutes in: We're in the World Cup Finals today. This is the second finals I've watched, and it is a lot more exciting.

30 minutes in: There is an image of a flower on the Japan team's uniforms. The specific flower is a Japanese cultural symbol of the ideal woman.

33 minutes in: Japan is dominating the ball, and it's intense!

40 minutes in: If Japan's Ohno scores the winning goal, I will be sad, but the newspaper headline is already written.

Half Time (45 minutes): Steve has noted that there are fewer fouls in this game, and I agreed that it seems cleaner. Compared to the 2010 final, the field seems smaller, there is a lot more action, and there are hardly any penalties. Soccer is growing on me, and this game is helping.

48.5 minutes in: My heart was in my throat. We need to score!

68.5 minutes in: GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!

79 minutes in: Oh my, the game is even more fun now. Steve is noting that they are using the words 'attractive' and ' beautiful' in the commentating.

80 minutes it: Tension is back, but I think we have the upper hand.

72 minutes in: Hope Solo is a f*cking awesome name.

End of Regular Time (90+2 minutes): This is exciting, but I feel like an All Blacks fan watching the 1995 Rugby World Cup.

1 minute of extra time: A Japanese win could do wonders for Japanese spirit/morale.....

6.5 minutes of extra time: First yellow card.

13 minutes of extra time: USA Ahead Again!

19 minutes of extra time: Thrilling excitements

24 minutes of extra time: The goalie keeps being lead away from the goal. I hope she is still ok to play.

25.5 minutes of extra time: I don't think Hope can pull this out.

30 minutes of extra time: That penalty was incredible - it has become upper hand versus destiny

End of Extra Time: Ending a game with penalty kicks is kind of eh, but they're really good teams.

Before first penalty kick: I just saw a guy with a sign saying "Marry Me, Hope I'm Solo".

After Japan's first penalty kick: Hope is definitely limping...

Before Japan's second penalty kick: I think it is going to be destiny

Before Japan's third penalty kick: I call destiny

Game End: Congratulations, Japan. This is yours to celebrate.

Countdown to Picasso: Man With a Guitar (1911)

This is one of Picasso's Musicians, and one of a series of 'Man with a Guitar' paintings.

Countdown to Picasso: Two Brothers

Today, we have Two Brothers, from the Rose Period.

Countdown to Picasso: Portrait of Olga in an Armchair

Today's artwork is Portrait of Olga in an Armchair, from 1917.

Portrait of Olga in an Armchair, 1917, depicts the Russian ballerina and Picasso's first wife Olga Khokhlova sitting on a Spanish-design tapestry, the space around the figure left purposefully unfinished.

- Picasso masterpieces to tour the U.S., USA Today, October 6, 2010

Countdown to Picasso: Portrait of Dora Maar

Today, I present the Portrait of Dora Maar.

The 176-work exhibit also highlights Picasso's depictions of his numerous mistresses and muses, including Dora Maar. A 1937 portrait of the French surrealist photographer features a colorful Maar displaying flamboyant, red-nailed hands. It serves as a contrast to another oil-on-canvas portrait of Maar, who inspired his "Weeping Woman" series.

Countdown to Picasso: Celestina

On June 24, 2011, I get to see some of the 20th century's most esteemed and influential artwork, without a [costly] trip to Paris. Over the next two weeks, I will post daily links to and information about one work of art at the exhibit.

Today's work is la Celestine, from Picasso's blue period.

Picasso's 1904 oil-on-canvas masterpiece La Celestina shows a solitary, gray-haired bordello owner with a blinded eye. Picasso painted several similar portraits during his early-career Blue Period, characterized by somber tones and marginalized subjects such as beggars and prostitutes.

- Picasso masterpieces to tour the U.S., USA Today, October 6, 2010

Trump's Bluff

When Donald Trump first came out with his presidential bid, I saw some show on MSNBC berate the bid as a publicity stunt for his TV show. I looked up whether or not Trump supported Obama, and came up with one comment he made in 2008 that was complimentary to Obama and less so to McCain. My search also revealed that Trump's alliance was clearly Republican, so he still could be genuine.

However, I remain unconvinced that he's not just stirring up stupid people just to laugh in their faces later.

21st Century

Thursday, I bought tickets to a presentation happening that same night with my smart phone. Today, I am watching live footage of the African wilderness.

Brave New World

Huxley vs. Orwell

Really Good Thread

I'm almost done reading a great thread on Pandagon. This is just one of the comments that I'd like to share. I would post others, but there are so many.

I am a climate scientist in the US. Over the last several months I’ve watched colleagues and friends get slandered, have their private communications completely misinterpreted, and been variously called a hack and a fraud. Already most of my colleagues have decided not to participate in the next IPCC assessment report, since all it does is make us targets for the most vicious personal attacks. We’re expected now to respond to the most assinine, ill formed, and usually wrong criticisms from bloggers. And, except for a few people stepping up to help, we’re largely being thrown to the wolves by the media, public, and politicians.

Here is my prediction. In fifty years time, when climate change is real and apparent right before everyones eyes, there will be all sorts of hand wringing and concerned comments from people on the tv. And everyone will soberly talk about how nobody could have predicted what was happening (much like the levee comment after Katrina).

And I’m gonna have a really, really hard time caring at all.
Comment #70: TransientEddy on 03/12 at 12:31 AM

This post is illuminating so many things about me, my life, my family, former friends, acquaintances, frustrations that I have had. It is about, on the surface, climate change denialists, but the thread gets into the basic motivations of the denialists themselves. Pandagon is a both/and blog, so as long as arguments are in logically and rationally sound, they're an awesome add. Unsound arguments are shut down at one comment so far. I'm actually looking forward to a response just to see what angle they go down this time. It reminds me of the report I gave and the book on which I gave it back on the 2nd. I found this book on Feb. 28th after shopping all day with a friend. I skimmed it that night and bought it the next day.

Friday, I talked with protestant evangelical teenagers about science and religion. The arguments were all either cruel (maiming and death are adequate punishment for not wanting to be pregnant was one), stupid applications of science (an anti-gay marriage argument from the standpoint that same sex couples cannot reproduce), or unsuccessful attempts to find holes in scientific explanations. It was a great experience to have, and also very draining. Rational claims are pretty awesome. The Pandagon thread is rife with these.