Wishes

I wish I could make you understand what it is I'm going through, but it isn't really that hard to explain. I guess. I'm depressed. Nothing is as it should be, even though everything is fine, sort of. I'm overweight, overwrought, over everything. Nothing is that interesting to me at all, and to hear people gush over it like it was is like nails on a chalkboard.

I wish for a million more wishes. I wish to lose a pound of body fat from not my brain every week for two years or until I'm at 13% body fat, whichever is sooner. Second wish, I want to keep it off for the rest of my life. Third wish, I don't want to lose any random body parts to accomplish this. I don't care if I still have depression at this point, because at least then, people will give a shit about how I feel, and people won't hate to look at me, or at least I won't hate to look at me.

But genies in bottles aren't real, wish granting magical creatures are fiction, and I'll never get to lose the fat that won't go away. The best I can hope for is to lose about 30 pounds, but it won't stay off. I just wish I could have a surgery to remove abdominal fat, or maybe that fecal transplant from a thin person so I can digest food more effectively. But I have no idea how to get into that, and no idea how to find a weight loss doctor who isn't a quack, or even how to do it while I'm completely overwhelmed by my job. While I'm completely overwhelmed by doing 20% of what I'm supposed to do with my life.